Our tendency to avoid negative emotions leaves us profoundly disconnected from what is happening in our lives and relationships.
“The time following the disclosure of an affair is usually terrible. But it’s terrible whether you decide to leave or you decide to stay. You need to have time to gather information, process your own experience and reflect on what rebuilding the relationship would require of each person before you can make a thoughtful decision that usually has far-reaching implications.”
"I needed to get it. And even more importantly, he needed to feel like I really got what he's experiencing. So I listened. I breathed deeply, I looked him in the eyes and tried to imagine what he was saying and forced myself to temporarily set aside my deep desire for him to understand my side."