You have the fundamental right to create or co-create new norms in your life, that your current norms do not have to be the norms you carry forward, and that like all change, the process is usually uncomfortable.
Laughed and felt inspired watching this interview with Lake Bell, talking about not only her film, but how her perspective on marriage has evolved. "Coming from a person who did not believe in the institution, I actually see it (marriage) as the badass, brave way to go forth"
For the moments when we're feeling timid or afraid:
"It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs and comes short again and again;
who knows great enthusiasms,
the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly
so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
- Theodore Roosevelt
What are you experiencing that you don't know how to address? Are you experiencing an increase in anxiety and not sure why or what you can do about it? Are you feeling depressed and silently carrying it around by yourself? How is what you're experiencing impacting your relationship and how are your relationships impacting what you're experiencing?
Good relationships that get better over time are those that can acknowledge they don't know everything about how to love their partner well. They are open to critiques, willing to share critiques so their partner isn't in the dark and eager to learn what kind of actions leave their partner feeling loved and understood.
One thing you should know if you are considering looking for a therapist: therapy is work, and the work begins with your search for the right therapist.
While I do hope your holidays are filled with joy, peace, and a sense of connection to those you love, I imagine in everyone's holiday there will be moments that highlight the challenges in our relationships.
Below are a few helpful tips to assist you in navigating this holiday season.