You have the fundamental right to create or co-create new norms in your life, that your current norms do not have to be the norms you carry forward, and that like all change, the process is usually uncomfortable.
“The time following the disclosure of an affair is usually terrible. But it’s terrible whether you decide to leave or you decide to stay. You need to have time to gather information, process your own experience and reflect on what rebuilding the relationship would require of each person before you can make a thoughtful decision that usually has far-reaching implications.”
"I needed to get it. And even more importantly, he needed to feel like I really got what he's experiencing. So I listened. I breathed deeply, I looked him in the eyes and tried to imagine what he was saying and forced myself to temporarily set aside my deep desire for him to understand my side."